I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
its liver damage thursday
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
