can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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