WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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