It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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