I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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