That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
