1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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