need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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