Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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