Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
