Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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