he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
