If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
smell my finger.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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