forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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