Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
