My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
