so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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