I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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