Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
