Cold hands, warm shart.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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