we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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