I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
