is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
