And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
