Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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