I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
