Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
