He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
