You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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