watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
