I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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