They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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