well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
