I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
