that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
