Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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