Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
