I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
