It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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