and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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