Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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