Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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