Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
if only i could text you this smell
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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