if you like me you must not know who I am
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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