He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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