That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
