We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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