Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
