My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize