Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
