we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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