All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
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I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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