singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
