I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
