You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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