After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
