So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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