normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
