i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
