so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
