It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize