If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
