Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize