yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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