3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
